*Big breath* Well, today was a big day. Last week my employer notified me that I was getting a significant pay reduction (which I declined to accept) and today I received my official letter stating my last day January 29th/2016.
Do I have another job lined up? No. Do I have any clue what the next few weeks, months or year hold for me? NO! And yet my gut and my heart are telling me that THIS IS RIGHT.
Growing up as the “fat” kid, I have the typical story of how fitness changed my life. I was fat, bullied, found the gym, got fit, BAM. We’ve all heard that story a hundred times. Many fitness professionals will tell you “Fitness inspired me to help others” “I want to help people find their confidence” It’s all-true, and it’s all valid. But this step towards quitting my job (which made me a consistent six figure salary); quitting the career I’ve invested over 10 years towards; to pursue a career in fitness, is not about anyone else but ME.
You’re might think “wow Christy, that’s selfish” “what about your family” “what sort of example is that for your kids?” Let me explain. I’ve always worked. I thrive on work, being a busy bee, taking on too much at once and constantly being on the go. Anyone that knows me is shocked when they hear I’ve been lying around all weekend with my feet up, watching Netflix and napping. It just doesn’t happen. But after our daughter was born (her name is Hazel and she is AH-MAZING) I experienced emotions and feelings that I had never felt after our son was born (his name is Uriah, and ya, total rockstar) My husband’s job was not secure at the time, and being a contractor I was not entitled to maternity leave. So, I went back to work TWO weeks after my daughter was born. (Did I mention I had a C-section?) The feelings of guilt, anxiety, responsibility, were overwhelming. I kept saying, “I’ll take time off when” “If this happens, I’ll take time off” “When this is paid for, I’ll take time off” And of course it never happened. I was so driven by what I thought I needed to do overtook all the things I should have done to care for not only my new baby, but also my own body/mind/soul.
Flash forward 17 months: I’ve been going to a job I hated every day, my husband got injured and was on crutches for 3 months, our baby daughter developed asthma and we were constantly worried about her breathing, I fell into a depression and had no clue how to handle it. I was losing pleasure in even the simplest things and I knew something had to change. I wasn’t the wife I wanted to be, I wasn’t the mom I wanted to be, I wasn’t even the friend I wanted to be. I swallowed my pride (most of it anyways, because there is a LOT of it) and went to my doctor for help. After only a few weeks, I was feeling some relief and starting getting my SH*T in order.
Lucky for me, I went to a networking event soon after (W.I.N.E – check them out, super cool for women entrepreneurs in the Edmonton area) and immediately was drawn to an incredible lady named Larisa, and started working with her as my life coach. A few weeks after that, I got accepted into a business coaching program, and now, here I am. Nine days left at my job, no guarantees on my plan forward, only the belief that if I do what moves me, engage in what makes me Christy, each and every day, then I’ll be a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, and I’ll be genuinely happy and can only believe with ever inch of me, that success will follow. I cannot live my life defined by a paycheque anymore, or have someone dictate what the time away from my kids is worth each day. I also cannot contain this excitement and kick ass bing-bada-boom that I have inside me any longer!
We all have our story; we all have that something special inside us that fuels our fire. It’s OK to be selfish sometimes and feed that fire because it makes us a better parent, spouse, friend, and human being. Don’t forget what the airline attendant always says “Place your oxygen mask over your face before assisting others” Because you won’t be any help to others if your always trying to catch your breath.